The Many Uses of a Thong

I spent Saturday with my mom and Miss Maidie, an elderly lady from one of my dad's former churches. We went to breakfast at Brigg's in Wake Forest and then headed out for some shopping at North Hills and Cameron Village in Raleigh. Our first stop at North Hills was at JC Penney and then a few of specialty shops across the street at The Lassister.

Upon entering Penney's, at 10am, we were hit with a wall of heat! It was so hot in the store that within 5 min we had sweat pouring down our faces. We forged on to the kids dept and then to lingerie dept. While waiting for my mom and Miss Maidie to get what they were looking for I sat down in the chair at the checkout counter and began to fan myself while the VERY LARGE lady behind the register was ringing up customers. After she was finished she began to tell Maidie and I about how the air conditioner was broken (I figured it was either that or Penney's was going to start offering Bikram Yoga classes) and how she was trying to stay cool. She proceeded to lift up the back of her shirt to show us that she had a wad of paper towels stuck to catch sweat but the best was when she told us about her sweatband on her head. She said she came in that morning, bought this red lacy thong, cut out the crotch and stuck it on her head and pushed the lining underneath the lace and was using it as a sweatband...I kid you not!!!

I never would have thought of doing that much less admit it to complete strangers if I did!! So, I ask this, Do you have any strange uses for a thong??